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| This is going to be a pretty angsty post.
You've been warned.
I was on the phone with Reuben earlier talking about certain issues which really bothered me.
I know I tend to be affected by what people say and think of me even though they don't really mean it.
And I get really annoyed when I know myself it's not true.
It really bothers me that just because I turn red easily with alcohol, people think that I'm an alcoholic or that I've had too much to drink.
Most of the time it isn't true at all!
It's not my damn fault that I turn red after a glass is it!
That doesn't mean that I'm not lucid!
And just cause I'm red in my photos (which can't be helped as soon as I consume alcohol), doesn't mean that I'm drunk!
Or that I'm a wild child!
I hate being judged that way cause I know damn well that it isn't true AT ALL.
In fact, that's not the only thing irritating me right now.
Fuck. I'm getting really agitated now.
I need Reuben before I lose my mind.
I just hope he's awake.
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| This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually home on a Saturday night.
Part of me wished that I'd went along with Tanya Ernie Josh and the rest to Timbre tonight to watch the bands play.
Yet again, I'm kinda cash strapped at the moment so I didn't think it was wise for me to go, plus there was transport to think about.
So here I am, just bumming around waiting for the day to end.
Guess I should start packing my room soon since I've got nothing to do anyway.
Oh and I FINALLY had my first driving lesson yesterday and it was simple awesome! My engine didn't even stall once! Goes to show how good a driver I am. Laughs. Or about to be.
Went down to the pool to tan with Tanya in attempt to get rid of my hideous tan line.
I was hoping for a miracle that my stomach would turn the same shade as my arms and legs but clearly that didn't happen. Haha how naive of me.
Headed down for Street Clap finals thereafter to watch Stellar Memory play.
They won by the way, so congrats guys! =)
----------------------------------------------------
I wish that you're here right now.
Cause this whole I'm-here-but-you're-twothousandfivehundred miles-away is driving me crazy.
And the thought the possibility of you only coming back in nov just kills me.
So I hope you're right, and that you come back way sooner than that.
'Cause I miss you.
"I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you" | | |
| Here I am at work.
My 3rd day in a row and I'm already feeling exhausted due to the lack of sleep I'm getting.
It really makes me wonder how I made it through the whole of Feb surviving on 5 hours of sleep a day.
At that point, I was working full-time, 6 days a week, ending work at 9pm on weekdays and STILL going out after I knocked off, only to reach home around 3 in the morning at times and having to wake up later that morning for work.
Nevertheless, that was probably one of the most enjoyable period amidst all the other stuff that were going on. Right now, I'm just waiting for the time to quickly pass before I get to party :)
And I'm hoping to get into NUS.
Crap, Lucille's out. Laters. | | |
| Up till now, I always gave you the benefit of doubt.
Cause I was sure what we had was true.
Evidently not.
Someone even asked me recently, if things were really beyond repair.
I thought it was still worth saving.
That it'll be worth it.
But I'm guessing it's not now.
You have really no idea as to how much you have hurt me
or how much this has affected me
while you're out there living your life as though nothing has happened.
I kept thinking about it, beating myself up over it 'cause I honestly thought it could have been my fault. I honestly don't get it.
There's so many things running through my head now.
Were those tears a lie?
'Cause I know mine wasn't.
You set me up and just left me there to fend for myself.
Did you know because of that, I felt really helpless?!
You just left me picking up the mess you purposely created for me.
I was in a wreck and you didn't care.
I'm really at a loss for words right now. When I thought I was over it, it somehow came back to haunt me again.
And once again, you succeeded in making me a wreck.
Only this time round, it's worse.
'Cause I know for sure now it's true.
And now I'm hurting more than ever, cause I really did treasure the friendship we had.
All those things you did, all those things you said
I have nothing left to say.
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| Shopaholic with tanya tomorrow :)
It's going to be awesome. Today's been a pretty busy day.
Had to head down to SIM to pass them my cert originals in the afternoon.
Wasted some time cause I took the wrong bus!
Then I got lost in SIM trying to look for the admin office only to realise after a good 15mins or so that I passed right by it a couple of times.
Thereafter, I headed down to Ngee Ann to meet tanya and went for a joy ride in her friend's truck for a bit before taking the train down to dover so that brice could pass me the driving book :) My btt is on the 20th.
Oh and we met asyraf on the train! Haha told him that he should hitch a ride from brice since they were all going to gerald's place.
Then ernie came to pick us up and we chilled at his place for a couple of hours before heading back to j8 for dinner and home :) Oh and my cheeks were abused by ernie today with his countless poking :(
Ms lai, please control your boy!
Alrights, I'm off to watch How I Met Your Mother! :) | | |
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